Are your words slaughtering your sales? 

Word choice is everything. Words set the tone of the conversation, convey emotion and sometimes, pack an unintended punch to the reader. In short, word choice can make or break your sale.

Case in point. I was contacted last week on Facebook by a salon owner wondering if I'd like to come in for an appointment. She writes:

I'm offering a free mini facial if you book any service over $100 this week and your face prob needs it with the time you’ve been spending in the sun. Let me know asap.

My reply? Radio silence. There are two major flaws with this message:

1. Personalization gone wrong: Understanding your buyer is critical, as is personalizing your message. The sender in this message knows I recently went on vacation but in personalizing her message, she took a wrong turn. That wrong turn happened here: “Your face probably needs it, with the time you’ve been spending in the sun.” That statement put me on the defense.

Fact: A prospect who’s on the defense and feeling borderline insulted, isn’t in the mood to buy. Your prospect buys products and/or services that they think will solve their problems. The trick is to show how your product/service solves the problem, without being rude or insensitive. The problem here isn’t that my “face probably needs it,” it’s that I recently spent time in the sun, which can be damaging to skin.

The client’s problem + Your service = solution

Time in the sun + mini facial = soft, supple skin

Here’s a quick fix to this sales message:

I'm offering free mini facials if you book a service this week. I want to let you know personally, because I know you recently went on vacation and this facial is super hydrating. Many of my clients get it after spending time on the beach, to help their tan last longer and keep their skin feeling super soft and youthful looking. Let me know if you’re interested!

Do you see the difference? Sure, it's personalized, but without the accusatory tone that might put your prospect on the defense. It also sells the value, which leads to my next point... 

2.) No mention of value: In telling me that I probably need the mini facial, the salesperson didn’t sell me on the benefit of the treatment. If you are selling a service that you know would be of value to your prospect, use the “so what” test to discover the ultimate value that your service brings to your prospect.

Here’s how it works:

  • “You need a mini facial because you just returned from a week at the beach.” So what...
  • “Mini facials are great for sun-kissed skin because they make your skin feel soft and smooth.” So what...
  • “Soft, smooth skin looks more youthful and also helps your tan last 2x longer than it normally would.” So...sold!

The third bullet sold me because it hit some of my hot buttons. Who doesn’t want to look more youthful and have their tan last longer? Ok, maybe not everyone, but I do! In doing the so-what test, make sure you sell the actual benefits of your product (don’t make them up, that will come back to bite you!) and consider those that are most valuable to your prospects. If you don’t know your prospect personally, use your buyer persona to help tailor the benefits to them.

Don’t have a buyer persona or need help crafting one? Contact me today for help at